TV Time: Teen Beach Movie

image from wikipedia

image from wikipedia

She Said:

I love trying new movies. But, the worst part of trying anything new is wondering if it will be terrible. I recently heard a critic that I respect say that critics hope to see good things and that no one really wants to have to review things in an unfavorable manner. YES! That’s so true! I want to be able to tell all our lovely readers about things that I think are awesome. I want to tell you about fabulous restaurants and entertainment that is edifying for the soul.  But, because I have always loved sharing my critical thinking skills, sometimes I have to say something is terrible. I say this because I want there to be better things in the world. I want better sandwiches, better customer service, better Christian movies, and better family entertainment. I also want to help you to avoid wasting your two great luxuries, time and effort, on something that’s not worthy of them.

So, I’ll say it very plainly. Do not waste time on Teen Beach Movie. RJ and I always watch a movie that we review until it’s finished (unless otherwise noted) and we couldn’t make it past the first 20 minutes! We’re huge Disney fans. We loved Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Sonny with a Chance and Camp Rock. We have loved a lot of tween and teen Disney shows and movies, because they are fun and innocent.  But, this new movie is certainly not worth any of your fleeting summertime. It’s just so very bad!

The story is simple and predictable. Two teens travel back in time and end up trapped in a 1960’s beach movie. I was skeptical when we first heard of this movie because we’ve tried to watch several 60’s beach movies and they’ve all flopped. To be fair, we love Gidget– but Gidget had a real plot and talked about important issues. All the Frankie and Annette movies were full of bikinis, bad music and bad acting. I hoped that a Disney take on this concept would breathe some good clean fun into the genre- it didn’t. One of the reasons we turned it off so quickly was because of the level of shimmying, immodestly clad teenagers. It was creepy and weird to see kids dancing like that in fringed bikinis. We try to be very guarded with what we feed our eyes, and also our hearts with, and this movie was just too risqué for us. I know that it may sound strange that we purpose to be careful with what we see, but we really do believe and try to live up to it. I don’t feel okay watching people shake their fringe all around and I certainly don’t want to fill my husband’s mind with those images either.

The acting is bad. The script is bad. The costumes are bad. The music is horrendous. I love Disney Pop, but the music is awful!!!  I was so disappointed in this movie. Even if you don’t like Miley Cyrus or Demi Lovato personally you have to admit that their shows and movies were better than this. I like fun movies, but I don’t want them to be filled scantily clad people. High School Musical 2 managed to film in and around pools without feeling salacious, it was just fun. Come on Disney- give us some good franchises for shows and movies again! I miss my Sonny, Hannah, Mitchie and Gabriella. I wish Disney would make some entertainment options that could be fun, innocent, and modest and have great music.

I really do miss my old Disney franchises. I need to watch High School Musical 2 to drive Teen Beach Movie out of my head!

Kari’s Rating- 0

He Said:

Teen Beach Movie is bad.  It’s actually everything that anyone could possibly say is wrong with a Disney movie.  Kari and I both love Disney movies and have great fondness for both High School Musical and Camp Rock. This movie is neither of those.  The script is bad, the acting is bad, and the songs are bad.  Even worse, there was so much slinging around of body parts in bikinis that we actually turned it off in about twenty minutes.  I don’t know what else to say about this horrible movie.  If Disney wanted to have a movie series harkening to either of the two I listed above, there are plenty of ways to reboot either of those series with new leads.  This was a huge disappointment as Disney has been so far the best purveyor of non-smutty contemporary musical content, but no longer.  I can’t support this.

RJ Rating-0

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