Playlist: Pregnancy and Infant Loss- Part Two

Another beautiful yellow Taylor rose- from a memorial service we recently attended.

Another beautiful yellow Taylor rose- from a memorial service we recently attended.

Today, October 15th is Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. It’s an extremely sad day for any parent who has lost a precious baby. We’re still heartbroken over the loss of our sweet Taylor Truth. We are happy to know that Taylor (whom, I (Kari) believe is a girl) is safe with Jesus and that we will someday go to be with her (or him, but I think she’s a girl) forever. We are so grateful for the gift of Taylor and that God allowed us to become parents. We may never understand why we lost her, but she’s already changed our lives in ways to innumerable to describe.

Music helps the soul to heal. We’ve leaned on music and we want to share with you the 2nd installment of our Pregnancy and Infant Loss playlist (you can read Part One here). We hope that maybe it will give you some comfort, hope or encouragement. I’m so thankful to God for giving us the gift of music and the ability to help each other heal through this beautiful medium.

Tay-tay, your Mommy and Babbo miss you so much! We love you and thank God for you! We can’t wait to kiss you and you’ll always be our sweet darling and we love you so much! Thank you for being our baby and for making us parents.  I wish you could read this, but I know that in Heaven we will know all things, so I believe you know you have a mommy who loves you and misses you and can’t wait to see you- even if you can’t hear me now. I long for the day that I can kiss your face and hold you in my arms. I love you now and I’ll love you for always, Mommy

The Glory of Love- Otis Redding

I love Otis and his beautiful, soulful voice speaks to the beauty and pain of love.

Gone, Gone, Gone- Phillip Phillips

This song is on here for RJ. He loves this song and he told me that it always makes him think of Taylor because we will love Taylor for so long after they are gone.

Have Your Way- Britt Nicole

I thought I had felt the desperation in this song before, but losing my Taylor has been an even bigger challenge. It’s so hard. But, I love how simply and elegantly she encourages you to surrender your struggles with God.

I Will Cary You (Audrey’s Song)- Selah

This beautiful song reminds me that while I’m grieving my precious child and how much I never got to share with them- I’m still a treasured daughter loved by my Heavenly Father.

I’ve Always Loved You- Third Day

I found this song the day we lost Taylor and it made me cry. Sometimes it’s so easy to ask “why, God” or think, “if He really loved me he wouldn’t have let this happen”. But the truth is that my ways aren’t his ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) and I do believe that he loves me- extravagantly (1 John 3:1).

Keep Me in Your Heart- Warren Zevon

RJ and I fell in love with this song about ten years ago. It was so beautiful and so sad. I said that someday we would need that song and we forgot about it. The day that I physically started my miscarriage I looked for this song. It made me weep, because it made me feel like we were hearing from our baby. Yes, Taylor, we will keep you in our hearts forever.

Little Talks- Alexi Blue & Corey Gray

Dealing with the grief of losing a child is so hard. The first few weeks it was hard to do anything other than the barest necessities. I would lie on my couch and listen to this song because it was another way of feeling like I could hear from Taylor.  I felt encouraged by the thought that we will be together again. A friend reminded me that Taylor would want me to be happy because they don’t like it when their moms are sad. That thought coupled with this song, propelled me to meet some of the challenges I have faced lately.

One Day You Will- Lady Antebellum

I don’t know if a grieving mother can be told too many times “hold on” and “one day things will be easier”.

Overcomer- Mandisa

I really need to be reminded of the truth that in Christ I am in overcomer (Romans 8:37) and I will make it through this and God’s name will be glorified.

Praise You In This Storm- Casting Crowns

When we found out that I was probably miscarrying, but didn’t know for sure, we sang this song. I was so confused and so hurt. But, I wanted to know that I could cling to God and knew that I couldn’t just implode with anger. I knew that the most precious sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:15) I could ever make would be in that moment.  So we sang this song with our hands clasped and tears running down our faces. We may have only been able to squeak or gasp out some words, but as I look back it’s one of the most precious moments that I will ever know. I’m so thankful for God that he has pursued my heart through my life so in that moment I could lean on him.

Roar- Katy Perry

Right before I got pregnant I heard this song and I wanted to be like it. Well, I wanted to be a strong, warrior for God. I’ve been dissatisfied and ensnared in some pretty bad situations in my life for a long time. I wanted God to make me strong enough to handle them, thrive through them and move on to better things. I thought that he could help me be strong about never having a child. Then, when he gave me Taylor I thought he was making me strong to carry a child. Now, I think I see better that he was making me stronger to be able to lose my child, keep seeking Him and make the decisions about situations in my life that only kept me ensnared. I’ve made mistakes in the past few weeks, just like I always have, but I am so thankful for the freedom that has been granted me because of certain situations changing.  I will always miss my Taylor, but I give thanks all the more for her life because of the blessings that have flowed from her life.

Stay tuned later in the month (all of October is Infant Death Awareness Month) for the third installment of our Pregnancy and Infant loss playlist.

(The links take you to Amazon and you can preview the songs. The previews are free, but if you want to buy the songs you can help support The He Said She Said Experience)